Hail to the King for he has fallen. Yes, just short of 9 years to his first century as King, he has fallen.
It was on sports day itself when i visited my granddad in the ICU. It was his 1st week in the ICU. The heart operation was a success but expectedly, his organs failed him. His kidneys were close to not functioning at all and basically they cldnt take the dye required for MRI. I just cant express how i felt when i saw the dialysis machine beside his bed, feeding tubes inserted into his nose. His sad eyes, filled with tears, stared aimlessly at the ceiling. I called out to him but all he cld do was to roll his eyes as his hands were strapped to the bed (to prevent him from pulling the tubes). It was a few days back only when he showed signs of losing his memory. As the days went by he was struggling to talk and even complained of objects flying around in his room. Honestly, i feared the worst.
2 yrs back i remember i was at my grandad's house, i was happy to see him. He was always at the door with a smile. Told me to study hard everytime i visited and even shook my hand earlier this yr after i got my results. I sat in his house thinking of how much i love him and i really wished he wldnt leave at all. Selfish i know, but i am sure most of us are like tat. Who wants to lose thier love ones?
Seeing my grandpa on the hospital bed, was heart wrenching. I prayed and prayed for some miracle that he will be ok. But i lost hope when i saw his blood pressure. It was an all time low. Not a gd sign. I said goodbye to him and soon i was gone. I noticed he hardly blinked his eyes. Doc said he was slower in response due to the toxins in his body. Apparently it affected his brain.
I woke up. The sky was still dark. Heard noises, doors banging. What was happening? i came out only to see the empty room of my parents. BAD feeling. It was around 6.50am .. my sis called mummy getting a reply 'grandpa is very sick' i shrugged it off only to receive a call a few minutes later asking all of us to gwt down as soon as possible. i knew something was wrong. and i was right. his heart stopped.
when i saw the sad faces of my parents i went oh no oh no. dad explained-grandpa's heart stopped tat very morning, nurses revived his heart to keep it beating so we cld all see him breathe his last. he was already brain dead. i practically ran to his room. he looked worse. i knew then my grandpa was gone. beside was a new machine, pumping oxygen into his lungs. he looked as though he was breathing, but he's alr brain dead. his blood pressure was getting lower and lower. his heart was obviously tired. 1 injection the blood pressure shoots to 200 only for it to come down to 30. another injection the same way it went up then down. 3rd injection it went to 100 only. We all knew it was only a matter of time. after all of us greeted grandpa, we watched him go. it was painful, i chose to stay outside.
no matter how strong i thought i was, i knew i couldnt control. when mummy came out in tears saying he was gone. i muttered an 'i know' answer and soon i felt tears dripping down my face. control control control ! i cldnt control. i cld hear aunt's voice 'its my fault its my fault,i shldnt have let him go for the operation.' how can i not cry. just when i tot i stopped crying aunt judy put her hands on my shoulders and told me to be strong. SNAP. out came my tears. it was the first time i cried so hard.i was choking and gasping for breath. i was brought to another corner. somewhere where i wldnt hear the funeral arrangements.
5 days passed fast.even though he is gone physically, i know he will always be around me spiritually. he's in all of us. i know it becos i believe in it. i love my grandpa i know he wont leave me like this. i cant wait to see him again.
in loving memory of the greatest and strongest grandpa on earth(he has no dentures at 91 yrs old and can walk with a perfect posture-straight back and hardly uses walking stick), mr joseph tan lip ker 1915-2006
Quote of the day True and False are attributes of speech, not of things. And where speech is not, there is neither Truth nor Falsehood. Thoms Hobbes ['Leviathan', 1651]
spoke at : 7:32 PM
justin tan.
used to be from nyjc, graduated and free from Singapore's education system (for now) entering the army on the 10th of April!
